There’s been a lot of discussion of late about a commander’s wife down at Ft. Bragg who was so demoralizing to her FRG and families that she has been banned from participating. The article that first appeared in the Fayetteville Observer went into all the gorey details complete with timeline of grievances. A shorter article in the Army Times gives a quick summary of what’s going on. The message boards are abuzz with feedback on FRGs and spouses wearing their servicemember’s ranks.
While the Drinkwine case referenced in the articles above was extreme, I think we’ve all met these people at some point in time. Watching it all unfold, I had flashbacks to my own experiences back in Okinawa with a horrible command spouse. Maybe it’s the benefit of hindsight, but I weigh all the great people I’ve met and the wonderful experiences against that one lousy egg, and I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute in encouraging new spouses to get involved with their family readiness/family support/spouse groups.
Don’t let the actions of any one person taint your view of all groups.
Well run, functioning family readiness/family support/spouse groups are a great way to: meet new people, make friends, volunteer in a meaningful manner and make a real difference in the military community. I think we’ve all been around the block enough times to realize that bad, ill-intentioned people exist everywhere. When they make you their special project, it’s not fun. Trust me, I know. Don’t let your experiences with those people steer you away from getting involved….because if they did, it would effectively mean that the bullies (those bad eggs) get to chalk up a win.
This is such good advice, about people, groups, experiences. Why is it that we remember and focus on the bad things, letting them overshadow the positive experiences. Do you have advice for military spouses on what to do if you are unfortunate enough to get an FRG led by a bad egg? How do you make the best of the situation, rather than being driven away? How do you stand up to a bully when her husband is your husband’s boss? Or, are their alternatives to get a new leader or start another group?
I’ve been involved with family radiness, in one form or another, for about 24 years. that’s about as long as I’ve been a Marine wife. I’m also a Marine mom. I was the KVA for my husband’s battalion and the KVA for my son’s company. My husband is a Colonel and my son is a Corporal.
Yes, the Drinkwine situation is cringeworthy. Yes, we all know one of those. Maybe we know more than one.
That said, I’ve watched post after post and comment after comment using Dr. Drinkwine’s abominable behavior as an excust…no…a justification…to bash spouses and more specifically, officer spouses. I have only recently discovered that I have scales on my back and eat babies for breakfast. Who knew?
I could go on for pages about that but after alot of venting to other milspouses, I will only ask those who are doing all the bashing..
What do you suggest we do? What do you think life for military families would be like without an FRG?
Wow. Considering some of the stories and attitudes out there, you can only imagine how bad things were to reach this level of attention. Nice to see some accountability there!