The Basic Black Dress

So how many of you are familiar with the skit, The Basic Black Dress?  It used to be something that would trotted out every once in awhile for a spouse club event when different board members would play the role of the military spouse through 20 years.  Well, some milspouse Twitter friends were looking for a copy of the skit.  A lot of other spouses chimed in that they had never heard of the skit before, so @armygirlnay and I thought it’d be fun to share with them this sweet, retro piece of milspouse history….

The original text was written by  Alice H. Rice when she was the spouse of a young lieutenant in the 50′s…The skit’s always choreographed to different music for each era and dress.

Good evening ladies…

Today is the day we are going to present a show edifying…

The girls are just dying to bring you their graphic comment

On the unique society and stylish variety

Of the fashionable service wife.

We invite your attention to affectionate mention

Of moments highlighting her life.

A new world began when she captured her man

And married into the Corps.

ENTER BRIDE

When she was a bride she trembled insude

At the glory and glamour before her

In traditional gown of satin white as swan’s down

She’s fresh as the flowers she carries

With a veil of white lace gives and aura of grace

Oh, lucky’s the man that she marries

She dreams of paradise and mansions (with maids)

And world-wide travels she plans

As under crossed sabers (Exit Bride)

She promised her labors to him and the military’s demands.

With prospects so pleasant and each wedding present

She arrives at her first duty station where she finds worthy functions

And coffees and luncheons just a-waiting her par-tic-i-pation.

A large wardrobe she lacks, but she quickly unpacks,

Thinking “What is the right thing to dress in?”

ENTER HEROINE

A service wife knows that the proper clothes

Help create the proper impression

What might stand the test?  Basic….simple and pure

For any occasion.  Of any persuasion?

This number would do, she is sure.

Now THIS may I sress is a basic black dress,

Clean-lined, unadorned, sim-plici-ty, either wear it as such

Or add a personal touch (point to bow) for it’s famous for its du-licity.

Well, she learns husband’s routine of brassing and booting,

And how to stiff starch those fatigues, she learns how to sew patches

And cook extra batches (Exit Heroine)

Of food for the bachelor leagues

She arises each day

ENTER REVEILLE

Like a fresh bouquet to cheer him off to “the war”

The day he “takes reveille” you can take it from me…

That’s the day…she needs the car!

But even at dawn, she knows what to put on

She may see – you never know whom!

Bright-eyed and astute, she inspires him and all his platoon. (Exit Reveille)

FTX and S-3

TDY and IG soon are a part of her vo-cab-ulary.

She learns to stand at retreat

ENTER HOUSEKEEPING

And how to buy meat at the local commissary.

And here is her Basic Black dress

Sublimating the housecleaning mess

A handkerchief chic, an apron so sleek

Accessorize her with finesse.

The service wife knows how to utilize clothes

So each hour of the day she has style,

Her housecleaning duty will find this beauty

Looking sharp whatever the trial. (Exit Housekeeping)

With engraved calling cards she delivers regards

To the CO staying “inside an hour”

When the call is returned, she is somewhat concerned

For they’ve caught her taking a shower!

ENTER SHOWER

But to this sequel she’s more than equal

She appears with her usual tact.

Indeed her solution to untimely ablution

Is to smile and hope they will smile back?

This terry creation will cause a sensation

When teamed with savoir faire

An impression eternal remains with the Colonel

Who’s received by this hostess so rare. (Exit Shower)

For well-rounded fun, she’ll not be outdone

ENTER TENNIS

The service wife’s lithe and athletic

She excels in all sports, at bridge table and courts…

In costume co-pa-setic.

She serves looking spiffy prepared in a jiffy

In her flexible favorite-guess!

With shoes that are flat and a jaunty small hat,

And…she’s wearing the Basic Black Dress! (Exit Tennis)

Through farewells and greetings,

ENTER PREGNANT

And dozens of meetings, she volunteers without hesitation

Her life’s neat and exact ‘til she gets in the act

Of producing the next generation.

Yes, there comes a time in every climb

When the Basic Black Dress just won’t do it

That’s the time when it’ll get snug in the middle.

What’s the meaning of this?  She knew it!

Her husband’s agape at her blossoming shape,

But she’s still just as pretty and pert,

She runs out and shops for lots of cute tops

And appears in a Basic Black Skirt! (Exit Pregnant)

Then once a month a spouses’ club luncheon

Takes place at the local club

ENTER LUNCHEON

Which everyone goes to in frills, gloves and hose too

To show off her fanciest duds.

In chapeau and furs the honors are hers

She achieves a chic undeniable.

Have you recognized it?  No, she has disguised it.

And dramatized good, old Reliable.

Now I ask: Did you ever know a woman more clever

Than the service wife I profess?

Completely adaptable, even unflappable,

Both she and her Basic Black Dress.

When her flowers have blooms,

When she’s curtained each room

And made home out of government quarters.

And if parsley she plants (Exit Luncheon)

Here’s a very good chance,

He’ll come home one night with orders!

On civilian sod he goes “abroad”

As the service wife goes “overseas”

ENTER MOVING

She packs, store hold and ship ‘til she’s ready to flip

But, once off, she travels with ease

In the travelling scrimmage she maintains the image

Of cosmopolitan cool.

Bent to her needs her Basic Black leads

From port call through customs.  A Jewel!

With kids, pet and sack and the babe on her back

With baggage and luggage and hope

Smoothest trip of her life, she’s a service wife (Exit Moving)

And there’s NOTHING with which she can’t cope.

Now what one wears to social affairs

Should be clarified by invitation

But….what is normal if it says, “semi-formal?”

She might find a lame that always clings so nicely

Or a modest suit is awfully cute

ENTER HEROINE

Though not semi-formal precisely

Yes, some do-it-up brown, in a sexy sleek gown;

Some opt for the casual look.

Each is sure she’s correct but a glance circumspect

Makes each wonder if she mistook,

But the greatest success is the Basic Black Dress

ENTER PERFECT

Not too much, not too little, just right.

She has others smiling, this woman beguiling

She’s turned out for a wonderful night

It’s reputation-uphold it’s unparalleled!

And she hasn’t exhausted it yet.

Let me emphasize ladies, the point of the day is (Exit Heroine and Luncheon)

This dress is a venerable pet. (Exit Perfect)

She wore it for years, through laughter and tears

As she sat out the Vietnam War.

She wore it to yell, Honey it’s you….in Hon-o-lu-lu

ENTER R&R

When she met him for R&R

As a waiting wife she suspended her life

‘Til he came home again to her arms

As the children grew bigger a slight shift in her figure

Enhanced her maturing charms.

Years fly by…then alas an era has passed.

And the service just isn’t the same…

In manner appealing, traditions are falling

And now it’s a different game.

Too the milieu of fashion once a feminine passion

And all those old loves, the big hats and white gloves

Have succumbed to more informal clothes.

After years as the best, the Basic Black Dress

Was a dying institution.

It had to be faced, it was being replaced

By a trouser revolution.

At first just acceptable

ENTER PANTSUIT

Then more respectable ‘til now they are quite de riguer

A lady in pants today can enhance

A parade, a luncheon, a tour.

Thus our service wife adapting her life

Turns out in her Basic Black Slacks

Nothing can faze her outfit with blazer

Admiring attention attracts. (Exit Pantsuit)

So in this best of careers quickly run out the years.

ENTER GRANNY

In this wonderful service environment, and her husband’s retired,

And she’s just plain tired, and ready for his retirement!

She has traveled and twirled across half-the-world,

Of fashion, an illuminary.

But, what is more, her esprit de corps

Has supported her man military.

But mellowed and sage in her golden age

She reflects on a life of success

ENTER ALL

And to what is this due.  Need I tell you…

It’s that one simple Basic Black Dress!

So…she’ll go to her rest

PICK UP GRANNY

In her Basic Black Dress,

And the angels will smile and prize it

For with shining winds and a halo that clings

For in her Basic Black Dress she’s done things you can’t guess

Now in Heaven’s domain she’ll forever remain

Singing hymns in her Basic Black Dress.