After reading the invitation, I knew that we were expecting Dr. Biden to be in attendance, but I don’t think anyone expected that the Vice President would show up to introduce her!  So, I’m sure there will be lots of blog posts and articles about the event, but what can I tell you that the cameras may have missed?

• One of the most touching moments came when General Casey visited with the row of AIT soldiers sitting behind us.  He coined each one of them as a “down payment on the great service I know we can expect from you in your careers”.   What you may not know….General Casey also coined Tanya in appreciation of her work and contributions.  She was thrilled!
• If you looked hard enough, you may have recognized some faces in the audience who went by unnoticed by the majority of the star struck folks in attendance.  In the front row, you would have seen the Chief of the Army Reserve, LTG Jack Stultz and his wife, Laura chatting with the new DUSD/MCFP, COL (USA, Ret) Rob Gordon.
• Behind the Stultz’s and COL Gordon was LTC Gregory Gadson who just took over command of the Army Wounded Warrior Program.  LTC Gadson understands the issues of those he serves because he himself is a double amputee.  You may remember reading about him back in 2008 when he was dubbed the “Giants’ honorary co-captain” during their Super Bowl season.

For someone who could make a professional sport of people watching, it was a lot to take in.  Everywhere you looked, there was another little story unfolding.  The most remarkable part of the evening though, it was genuinely fun.  Everyone was incredibly relaxed.  The folks in charge did a great job in setting out movie style snacks and as the lights dimmed, everyone settled back to watch Dr. Biden’s acting debut.  The illustrious company seemed to fade into the background as the show unfolded.  Reactions were honest, vocal and pronounced.  As far as acting debuts go, Dr. Biden did a good job, as did the real Army wives who played cameo roles in the episode.  After the viewing, the VIPs stayed for a long time, shaking hands and posing for pictures.  All in all, it was a great evening.

Share/Bookmark

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I don’t think I imagined that these senior leaders from the agencies would fill a room to hear the feedback from a handful of military spouses, but that’s exactly what happened. We started the afternoon with an informal reception in the “War Room” of the EEOB. Mingling with the other spouses and some of the staff on hand, we took a few minutes to enjoy refreshments and get acquainted. There were less than a dozen spouses in attendance….I very much felt like the kid that found the golden ticket and vowed right then and there that I would capture everything I could to share with you.

After our reception, we moved up to a larger meeting room. The interest from the other agencies to get in front of military spouses and hear the feedback far exceeded everyone’s expectations, so we were ushered into a big room where chairs had been set up around the perimeter to accomodate everyone.  We spouses sat at the table and were interspersed among senior officials from agencies such as: Justice, State, Treasury, Education, Health and Human Services, Agriculture, DoD, VA, etc….I’m sure if I had taken a harder look around, I would have noticed that all the agencies were represented. At the head of the table, our hosts from the NSC were seated beside representatives from Mrs. Obama’s office as well as Dr. Biden’s office. They were all there to update us on their initiatives and then listen to our feedback. Even though the time allotted to us was short at an hour, I have to commend them for presenting us with a great opportunity to share our insights. There was a lot of information flying around, but I thought I’d provide some of the highlights:

• All the agencies are working on ways to integrate military families into their programs and initiatives.  Several agencies to include the Departments of Health and Human Services as well as Education have elevated military families to one of their top three priorities.  More importantly, they are also allocating money and resources to support their commitment.
• There are a lot of programs out there supporting military families and service members that we are not aware of.  The challenge will be finding ways to get the information out to the families and communities who need them.  As an example, the Department of Education has an extraordinary amount of money allocated in a discretionary fund.  Since they have made military families a top priority, they are looking at ways to fund grants that address our demographic.
• Reading between the lines, I would say that there are deep cuts coming our way [no surprise to anyone who's been paying attention].  Look for more programs to go away.  However, the good news is, I don’t think we are aware of all the programs out there supporting us, so hopefully where one program goes away, we’ll be able to find another with a little extra work.

Based on feedback I received from military spouses, I left the committee with two parting thoughts regarding military spouse employment:

• As DoD reviews and revamps MyCAA, it’s important for them to understand that portable careers and 4 year degrees are not mutually exclusive.  There are any number of portable career choices (teacher, nurse, counselor) that require a 4 year degree.
• The military spouse internship program is great in theory, but no one really understands it.  In addition to the website that’s been established to educate HR personnel, it would be helpful to have a checklist for military spouses on how the program works as well as a bellybutton we can reach back to in case we encounter an agency that is not familiar with the program.

Biggest takeaway from the meeting: when you’re out there looking for programs supporting military families, DoD should only be your starting point.  There’s a lot going on within the other agencies that get less attention.

Share/Bookmark

While the Drinkwine case referenced in the articles above was extreme, I think we’ve all met these people at some point in time.  Watching it all unfold, I had flashbacks to my own experiences back in Okinawa with a horrible command spouse.  Maybe it’s the benefit of hindsight, but I weigh all the great people I’ve met and the wonderful experiences against that one lousy egg, and I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute in encouraging new spouses to get involved with their family readiness/family support/spouse groups. 

Don’t let the actions of any one person taint your view of all groups. 

Well run, functioning family readiness/family support/spouse groups are a great way to: meet new people, make friends, volunteer in a meaningful manner and make a real difference in the military community.  I think we’ve all been around the block enough times to realize that bad, ill-intentioned people exist everywhere.  When they make you their special project, it’s not fun.  Trust me, I know.  Don’t let your experiences with those people steer you away from getting involved….because if they did, it would effectively mean that the bullies (those bad eggs) get to chalk up a win.

Share/Bookmark

It’s amazing to think that months, years of dreaming of a network for military spouses to mentor, network and learn from one another finally culminated in the launch of the National Military Spouse Network.  I planned the launch of the NMSN to coincide with Military Spouse Appreciation Day because I could not think of a better way of spending it than hosting a party for some of the most amazing spouses out there, give them access to some phenomenal folks and get them to rethink the importance of networking.  Whether it’s because we as military spouses, we so often think of networking in a negative matter or because we just don’t know how to get started we often have a more difficult time getting connected every time we PCS.  With over 80% of people finding their jobs through the hidden job market, networking is a skill we need to cultivate.

Needless to say, the minutes before the launch, I was on pins and needles, unsure of how it would be received.  To say that I was silly to worry for even a moment is a supreme understatement.  Once the “doors opened”, people kept streaming in….people you only read about in the papers, spouses you know because you’ve read their books, listened to their radio show or seen their cartoons in the Stars and Stripes.  It was so overwhelming watching all the connections being made:

In one corner, Julie Negron (the creator of Jenny Spouse cartoons), Krista Wells (the Military Spouse Coach) and Wendy Polig (Founder and host of Navy Wife Radio / Military Life Radio) were hugging and chatting away, elated to finally be meeting in person after knowing each other online for such an extended period of time.

If you let your eyes drift left, you would have seen Rene Campos (from MOAA) holding court with MG Michael Sumrall and his wife, Paula from the National Guard Bureau.  They were chatted with former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense, Lesley Arsht and the Director of DoDEA, Dr. Shirley Miles.

Everywhere you looked, there were people making connections.

The Blue Star Family reps were chatting with LtCol Jay Updegraf and his wife Becky who had driven down from McGuire AFB for the event, updating them on all the great programs the organization provides for military families.  The Updegrafs were absorbing every word as they were there to learn more about military family resources.

Al Boone, the Military LA for Congressman Sanford Bishop stopped by enjoy the great food and mingle with spouses to learn more about their employment challenges.

There were over fifty people there and everywhere I looked, connections were being made.  Catching snippets of information as I flitted from one group to the other, I learned that invitations were being extended to provide breakout sessions at an upcoming conference, valuable partnerships were being formed for the benefit of military children, spouses were sharing their expertise with one another and businesses cards were being exchanged.  So much for the negative connotation associated with networking.  The feedback we’re receiving from blog posts, tweets, and word of mouth is that everyone is pretty unanimous in believing that this good ole boys’ network for military spouses is long overdue!  Can’t wait for the next networking event.

Share/Bookmark

Some highlights for you, attendees determined:

The Top 5 issues for military families:

• Challenges of the deployment cycle
• Psychological health of military families
• Access to services and consistency of support
• Communications challenges
• Frequent relocations

Top 5 goals:

• Evaluate programs and build on successes
• Communicate critical information to all family members
• Establish collaborative partnerships
• Address psychological/behavioral health needs of military families
• Develop and implement programs supporting military children and youth

Hopefully we’ll get some viable programs for military families out of this conference and report and what I anticipate will come out of the Congressional Military Family Caucus Spouse Summit.

Onto some new benefits/programs that hit the radar this week:

This Saturday, the VA will begin accepting applications for the Fry Scholarship program for eligible children of servicemembers who have died in the line of duty since September 11, 2001.   Under this program, each eligible child is entitled to 36 months of benefits at the 100% rate where normally, all eligible dependents would have to split a maximum of 36 months of GI Bill benefits.

Earlier this week, DoD announced their 2010 Military Spouse Intern Program.  There are 120 opportunities available under this pilot program help spouses secure employment with federal agencies.  Details are still forthcoming (a permanent website is set to launch in the next few weeks), though there is a fair amount of information available right now on their website.  The program is open to:

All spouses of active duty service members except:

• Spouse who is legally separated from service member when the person begins the internship
• Spouse who is also a member of the Armed Forces on active duty
• Spouse who is a retired member of the Armed Forces

If you end up taking advantage of this program and manage to secure one of these positions, please let me know.  Would love to hear the feedback on how it’s working.  Thanks.

Share/Bookmark

Share/Bookmark

The original text was written by  Alice H. Rice when she was the spouse of a young lieutenant in the 50′s…The skit’s always choreographed to different music for each era and dress.

Good evening ladies…

Today is the day we are going to present a show edifying…

The girls are just dying to bring you their graphic comment

On the unique society and stylish variety

Of the fashionable service wife.

We invite your attention to affectionate mention

Of moments highlighting her life.

A new world began when she captured her man

And married into the Corps.

ENTER BRIDE

When she was a bride she trembled insude

At the glory and glamour before her

In traditional gown of satin white as swan’s down

She’s fresh as the flowers she carries

With a veil of white lace gives and aura of grace

Oh, lucky’s the man that she marries

She dreams of paradise and mansions (with maids)

And world-wide travels she plans

As under crossed sabers (Exit Bride)

She promised her labors to him and the military’s demands.

With prospects so pleasant and each wedding present

She arrives at her first duty station where she finds worthy functions

And coffees and luncheons just a-waiting her par-tic-i-pation.

A large wardrobe she lacks, but she quickly unpacks,

Thinking “What is the right thing to dress in?”

ENTER HEROINE

A service wife knows that the proper clothes

Help create the proper impression

What might stand the test?  Basic….simple and pure

For any occasion.  Of any persuasion?

This number would do, she is sure.

Now THIS may I sress is a basic black dress,

Clean-lined, unadorned, sim-plici-ty, either wear it as such

Or add a personal touch (point to bow) for it’s famous for its du-licity.

Well, she learns husband’s routine of brassing and booting,

And how to stiff starch those fatigues, she learns how to sew patches

And cook extra batches (Exit Heroine)

Of food for the bachelor leagues

She arises each day

ENTER REVEILLE

Like a fresh bouquet to cheer him off to “the war”

The day he “takes reveille” you can take it from me…

That’s the day…she needs the car!

But even at dawn, she knows what to put on

She may see – you never know whom!

Bright-eyed and astute, she inspires him and all his platoon. (Exit Reveille)

FTX and S-3

TDY and IG soon are a part of her vo-cab-ulary.

She learns to stand at retreat

ENTER HOUSEKEEPING

And how to buy meat at the local commissary.

And here is her Basic Black dress

Sublimating the housecleaning mess

A handkerchief chic, an apron so sleek

Accessorize her with finesse.

The service wife knows how to utilize clothes

So each hour of the day she has style,

Her housecleaning duty will find this beauty

Looking sharp whatever the trial. (Exit Housekeeping)

With engraved calling cards she delivers regards

To the CO staying “inside an hour”

When the call is returned, she is somewhat concerned

For they’ve caught her taking a shower!

ENTER SHOWER

But to this sequel she’s more than equal

She appears with her usual tact.

Indeed her solution to untimely ablution

Is to smile and hope they will smile back?

This terry creation will cause a sensation

When teamed with savoir faire

An impression eternal remains with the Colonel

Who’s received by this hostess so rare. (Exit Shower)

For well-rounded fun, she’ll not be outdone

ENTER TENNIS

The service wife’s lithe and athletic

She excels in all sports, at bridge table and courts…

In costume co-pa-setic.

She serves looking spiffy prepared in a jiffy

In her flexible favorite-guess!

With shoes that are flat and a jaunty small hat,

And…she’s wearing the Basic Black Dress! (Exit Tennis)

Through farewells and greetings,

ENTER PREGNANT

And dozens of meetings, she volunteers without hesitation

Her life’s neat and exact ‘til she gets in the act

Of producing the next generation.

Yes, there comes a time in every climb

When the Basic Black Dress just won’t do it

That’s the time when it’ll get snug in the middle.

What’s the meaning of this?  She knew it!

Her husband’s agape at her blossoming shape,

But she’s still just as pretty and pert,

She runs out and shops for lots of cute tops

And appears in a Basic Black Skirt! (Exit Pregnant)

Then once a month a spouses’ club luncheon

Takes place at the local club

ENTER LUNCHEON

Which everyone goes to in frills, gloves and hose too

To show off her fanciest duds.

In chapeau and furs the honors are hers

She achieves a chic undeniable.

Have you recognized it?  No, she has disguised it.

And dramatized good, old Reliable.

Now I ask: Did you ever know a woman more clever

Than the service wife I profess?

Completely adaptable, even unflappable,

Both she and her Basic Black Dress.

When her flowers have blooms,

When she’s curtained each room

And made home out of government quarters.

And if parsley she plants (Exit Luncheon)

Here’s a very good chance,

He’ll come home one night with orders!

On civilian sod he goes “abroad”

As the service wife goes “overseas”

ENTER MOVING

She packs, store hold and ship ‘til she’s ready to flip

But, once off, she travels with ease

In the travelling scrimmage she maintains the image

Of cosmopolitan cool.

Bent to her needs her Basic Black leads

From port call through customs.  A Jewel!

With kids, pet and sack and the babe on her back

With baggage and luggage and hope

Smoothest trip of her life, she’s a service wife (Exit Moving)

And there’s NOTHING with which she can’t cope.

Now what one wears to social affairs

Should be clarified by invitation

But….what is normal if it says, “semi-formal?”

She might find a lame that always clings so nicely

Or a modest suit is awfully cute

ENTER HEROINE

Though not semi-formal precisely

Yes, some do-it-up brown, in a sexy sleek gown;

Some opt for the casual look.

Each is sure she’s correct but a glance circumspect

Makes each wonder if she mistook,

But the greatest success is the Basic Black Dress

ENTER PERFECT

Not too much, not too little, just right.

She has others smiling, this woman beguiling

She’s turned out for a wonderful night

It’s reputation-uphold it’s unparalleled!

And she hasn’t exhausted it yet.

Let me emphasize ladies, the point of the day is (Exit Heroine and Luncheon)

This dress is a venerable pet. (Exit Perfect)

She wore it for years, through laughter and tears

As she sat out the Vietnam War.

She wore it to yell, Honey it’s you….in Hon-o-lu-lu

ENTER R&R

When she met him for R&R

As a waiting wife she suspended her life

‘Til he came home again to her arms

As the children grew bigger a slight shift in her figure

Enhanced her maturing charms.

Years fly by…then alas an era has passed.

And the service just isn’t the same…

In manner appealing, traditions are falling

And now it’s a different game.

Too the milieu of fashion once a feminine passion

And all those old loves, the big hats and white gloves

Have succumbed to more informal clothes.

After years as the best, the Basic Black Dress

Was a dying institution.

It had to be faced, it was being replaced

By a trouser revolution.

At first just acceptable

ENTER PANTSUIT

Then more respectable ‘til now they are quite de riguer

A lady in pants today can enhance

A parade, a luncheon, a tour.

Thus our service wife adapting her life

Turns out in her Basic Black Slacks

Nothing can faze her outfit with blazer

Admiring attention attracts. (Exit Pantsuit)

So in this best of careers quickly run out the years.

ENTER GRANNY

In this wonderful service environment, and her husband’s retired,

And she’s just plain tired, and ready for his retirement!

She has traveled and twirled across half-the-world,

Of fashion, an illuminary.

But, what is more, her esprit de corps

Has supported her man military.

But mellowed and sage in her golden age

She reflects on a life of success

ENTER ALL

And to what is this due.  Need I tell you…

It’s that one simple Basic Black Dress!

So…she’ll go to her rest

PICK UP GRANNY

In her Basic Black Dress,

And the angels will smile and prize it

For with shining winds and a halo that clings

For in her Basic Black Dress she’s done things you can’t guess

Now in Heaven’s domain she’ll forever remain

Singing hymns in her Basic Black Dress.

Share/Bookmark

Looking around at all the talented military spouses I know who have professional careers and aspirations and remembering my own experience with the job search in Washington DC, I realized that what we were all missing was a professional network. There are other organizations out there that already exist to support military spouses and they’re doing a great job in their niche, but we needed something more.

Forget the good old boys’ network, we needed a place we could go to meet like minded people; share great, relevant information and network with one another. I started reaching out to other spouses and the response has been overwhelming. Everyone could not have been more supportive or more excited. From all this, the National Military Spouse Network was born. We launch May 7th (Military Spouse Appreciation Day), but for now, you can follow us on Facebook or Twitter. If you’re in the DC area, you should plan on joining us at our launch event on the evening of May 7th. Cannot wait to update you all on the new endeavor as things progress.

As for those people who still think I’m crazy for leaving such a fantastic job, my days now are spent talking to extraordinary military spouses and creating a platform to highlight what we all do. I get to talk to people outside of our community and share our stories to elevate their level of understanding and make them more receptive and eager to hire military spouses because of everything we bring to the table. If we do this right, we are on course to change the face of military spouse employment and I can’t imagine a more worthwhile endeavor.

Share/Bookmark

For families of currently deployed, recently returned or soon to be deployed servicemembers, the National Military Family Association has just opened up registration for their free week-long Operation Purple Camps.  More information and the application can be found at their site.  Aside from the traditional camps, NMFA also runs other retreats, so it’s worth stopping by their site to check it out.

Speaking of deployments, the folks at Build-a-Sign are offering free welcome home banners to military families.  I’ve had a lot of friends take advantage of this program and they reported back that it’s an easy process and the signs are wonderful.

DoD’s new Social Media policy is prompting a lot of folks to take a second look at the various platforms that exist out there trying to wrap their minds around the way the Millenials and many Gen-X’ers are now communicating.  For many, this can be a very uncomfortable process which they engage in very begrudgingly.  At a presentation I gave yesterday to a joint session of squadron commanders and their spouses, it wasn’t difficult to read the body language in the room – everyone looked quite rigid.  The majority had already made up their minds that social media was either (1) a waste of time or (2) too much of an PERSEC and OPSEC nightmare to even think about getting engaged and they weren’t budging.  It wasn’t my job to change their minds, but to simply present them with the information and give them another tool in their toolbox as leadership teams.

What’s interesting about the disconnect between those who do utilize social media and those who don’t is that the folks who don’t sometimes fail to recognize that the conversation is taking place with or without them.   Didn’t DoD learn this the hard way with the MyCAA debacle?  I think effective leaders in the future are going to need to understand and incorporate social media in their outreach and communications, or run the risk of being irrelevant.  The corporate world has certainly acknowledged this and some government agencies have begun to incorporate SM into their own outreach initiatives; an astronaut tweeting from space is certainly a nod to the fact that NASA understands the challenge they have in reaching Gen Y.  If you haven’t already seen it, make sure you check out this presentation about Gen Y perspectives.

Finally, don’t forget the applications for the Military Spouse Summit being sponsored by the Congressional Military Family Caucus are due March 26th for the April 23rd event.  Get that in now if you want to be considered.

Share/Bookmark

Share/Bookmark