One bad egg

There’s been a lot of discussion of late about a commander’s wife down at Ft. Bragg who was so demoralizing to her FRG and families that she has been banned from participating.  The article that first appeared in the Fayetteville Observer went into all the gorey details complete with timeline of grievances.  A shorter article in the Army Times gives a quick summary of what’s going on.  The message boards are abuzz with feedback on FRGs and spouses wearing their servicemember’s ranks.

While the Drinkwine case referenced in the articles above was extreme, I think we’ve all met these people at some point in time.  Watching it all unfold, I had flashbacks to my own experiences back in Okinawa with a horrible command spouse.  Maybe it’s the benefit of hindsight, but I weigh all the great people I’ve met and the wonderful experiences against that one lousy egg, and I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute in encouraging new spouses to get involved with their family readiness/family support/spouse groups. 

Don’t let the actions of any one person taint your view of all groups. 

Well run, functioning family readiness/family support/spouse groups are a great way to: meet new people, make friends, volunteer in a meaningful manner and make a real difference in the military community.  I think we’ve all been around the block enough times to realize that bad, ill-intentioned people exist everywhere.  When they make you their special project, it’s not fun.  Trust me, I know.  Don’t let your experiences with those people steer you away from getting involved….because if they did, it would effectively mean that the bullies (those bad eggs) get to chalk up a win.

MilSpouse Friday Focus

Last November, DoD hosted a National Leadership Summit on Military Families in conjunction with the US Department of Agriculture and the University of Maryland.  Over 150 leaders from organizations that provide support to military families along with some family members brainstormed ways to improve family support programs.  The report from that event is now out and available for your reading pleasure.  At the very least, the executive summary is an interesting read, though it won’t be a surprise to any of you.

Some highlights for you, attendees determined:

The Top 5 issues for military families:

  • Challenges of the deployment cycle
  • Psychological health of military families
  • Access to services and consistency of support
  • Communications challenges
  • Frequent relocations

Top 5 goals:

  • Evaluate programs and build on successes
  • Communicate critical information to all family members
  • Establish collaborative partnerships
  • Address psychological/behavioral health needs of military families
  • Develop and implement programs supporting military children and youth

Hopefully we’ll get some viable programs for military families out of this conference and report and what I anticipate will come out of the Congressional Military Family Caucus Spouse Summit.

Onto some new benefits/programs that hit the radar this week:

This Saturday, the VA will begin accepting applications for the Fry Scholarship program for eligible children of servicemembers who have died in the line of duty since September 11, 2001.   Under this program, each eligible child is entitled to 36 months of benefits at the 100% rate where normally, all eligible dependents would have to split a maximum of 36 months of GI Bill benefits.

Earlier this week, DoD announced their 2010 Military Spouse Intern Program.  There are 120 opportunities available under this pilot program help spouses secure employment with federal agencies.  Details are still forthcoming (a permanent website is set to launch in the next few weeks), though there is a fair amount of information available right now on their website.  The program is open to:

All spouses of active duty service members except:

  • Spouse who is legally separated from service member when the person begins the internship
  • Spouse who is also a member of the Armed Forces on active duty
  • Spouse who is a retired member of the Armed Forces

If you end up taking advantage of this program and manage to secure one of these positions, please let me know.  Would love to hear the feedback on how it’s working.  Thanks.

MilSpouse Friday Focus

DoD’s office of Military Community and Family Policy has come under some scrutiny over the past month or so due to the MyCAA accounts, but don’t let that single program cloud your entire judgment of a group of people who work tirelessly on behalf of military families.  The folks at MCFP also “own” plenty of the programs that we all care most about such as: military spouse employment, DODEA (schools), MWR and childcare.  In the latest edition of their newsletter, we learn that they have recently stood up a new Office of Community Support for Military Families with Special Needs, hopefully good news for the multitudes of families who have been clamoring for more oversight and assistance.

For families of currently deployed, recently returned or soon to be deployed servicemembers, the National Military Family Association has just opened up registration for their free week-long Operation Purple Camps.  More information and the application can be found at their site.  Aside from the traditional camps, NMFA also runs other retreats, so it’s worth stopping by their site to check it out.

Speaking of deployments, the folks at Build-a-Sign are offering free welcome home banners to military families.  I’ve had a lot of friends take advantage of this program and they reported back that it’s an easy process and the signs are wonderful.

DoD’s new Social Media policy is prompting a lot of folks to take a second look at the various platforms that exist out there trying to wrap their minds around the way the Millenials and many Gen-X’ers are now communicating.  For many, this can be a very uncomfortable process which they engage in very begrudgingly.  At a presentation I gave yesterday to a joint session of squadron commanders and their spouses, it wasn’t difficult to read the body language in the room – everyone looked quite rigid.  The majority had already made up their minds that social media was either (1) a waste of time or (2) too much of an PERSEC and OPSEC nightmare to even think about getting engaged and they weren’t budging.  It wasn’t my job to change their minds, but to simply present them with the information and give them another tool in their toolbox as leadership teams.

What’s interesting about the disconnect between those who do utilize social media and those who don’t is that the folks who don’t sometimes fail to recognize that the conversation is taking place with or without them.   Didn’t DoD learn this the hard way with the MyCAA debacle?  I think effective leaders in the future are going to need to understand and incorporate social media in their outreach and communications, or run the risk of being irrelevant.  The corporate world has certainly acknowledged this and some government agencies have begun to incorporate SM into their own outreach initiatives; an astronaut tweeting from space is certainly a nod to the fact that NASA understands the challenge they have in reaching Gen Y.  If you haven’t already seen it, make sure you check out this presentation about Gen Y perspectives.

Finally, don’t forget the applications for the Military Spouse Summit being sponsored by the Congressional Military Family Caucus are due March 26th for the April 23rd event.  Get that in now if you want to be considered.