America's Military Spouse Connector

I’m sure that February 14th is a date that causes men (and women) all around the world to want to curl up in a ball and whimper in anticipation of the potential landmines.  You only have to read some of the articles out there to know that men are really starting to take this seriously and working hard to balance between too much and not enough.  The opportunities for failure are rife!    I mean, come on, who among us hasn’t gotten a little chuckle out of watching deperate men on February 14th out on their lunch hours searching for the perfect card, flowers and candy among the anemic selection that is left.  Those Zales and Jared commercials blasting at you 24/7 are not helping either.  Talk about building up unreasonable expectations!  Personally, I don’t necessarily need (or expect) jewelry for Valentine’s Day.  I think for V Day, the meaningful gestures are really the best.

Remember those handmade valentines we used to get when we were younger?  The ones made with red construction paper and doilies…my all time favorites.  The thought that some boy sat down (okay, maybe with a lot of his help from his mom) and made it for me was always a little heady.  I still remember the one I got from a boy back in 5th grade with a coral necklace…so sweet. 

So now, let’s fast forward through the years….

Valentine’s Day when hubs is in town is actually almost like any other day with the addition of a card, a little bunch of flowers and maybe a dinner out.  It’s the ones when he’s out of town that really stink.  It can be seriously difficult to wade through the oceans of candy hearts, sappy commercials and romantic dinner for two promotions going on around you when you’re separated by deployment.  I never paid it much attention figuring, when he’s in town, flowers and chocolates are in my future; when he’s not, maybe I’ll get a card in the mail sometime around the holiday and a phone call if he remembers and is able to call.  In the past, I think he always got a free pass if he was going to be deployed.  He still does pretty much, but on those deployed holidays when he comes through, I get the same feeling I did when I received that first hand made Valentine…so unexpected and thoughtful.

Nowadays, it’s easy for even deployed service members to acknowledge the holidays.  The popularity of online shopping and access to the Internet in the FOBs ensures that you can send Christmas and Birthday gifts, but what about Valentine’s Day? 

When I was researching the book, I spoke to a florist about how someone could go about setting up floral deliveries ahead of time.  He wasn’t surprised by the question.  Here were his simple tips:

• the sender can pick which arrangements they want sent on which dates and have them kept on file
• you can even go in and fill out the cards ahead of time to be sent along with the floral arrangement (if you want to do this, make sure you pick a local florist with a brick and mortar facility)
• the florist will keep your method of payment on file and you’re all set to go
• make sure you keep their contact information handy in case you need to make any changes

I was so surprised to get a Valentine’s arrangement at work when my husband was deployed and even more surprised and touched when I read the card and it was in his handwriting.  The flowers were lovely, but I loved the thought behind the gesture even more.  All over Facebook, I’m hearing from friends who are getting surprise packages and flower deliveries from their deployed spouses….love it!  All this talk of Valentine’s Day reminds me that I haven’t gotten out there to get a card or a gift yet.  Hmmmm….I’m going to be the desperate one at the grocery store that everyone’s snickering at this year!  Oh well, much is forgiven when the card’s presented with a gourmet meal.  Guess I’d better start that menu planning.

So do tell, what are your plans for Valentine’s Day?